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Exclusive: Semmlertheriot Caught with Pants Down

Tags: Semmlertheriot StarCraft Counter-Strike pornography
September 5, 2013 12:37 PM by

Millions of parents and their children will be shocked to learn that Auguste “Semmlertheriot” Massonnat, a famous Starcraft and Counter-Strike play caster and internet personality, has starred in multiple pornographic adult feature films, as uncovers in an exclusive scoop.

The shocking discovery was made by pro-gamer Clovis “marl” Hamilton, who, upon watching a streamed game of Counter-Strike on, recognised the voice of the caster.

“I was shocked when I recognised the voice of the caster from a pornographic movie,” said marl. “I have seen a lot of pornography, including, but not limited to BDSM, tranny and man-on-man porn, but I found this video particularly difficult to masturbate to. This guy looks like a pig when he engages in sexual intercourse, and I don't like redheads either.”

After the game, Hamilton spent many hours trying to locate the particular video containing Semmlertheriot. “I had to browse through the list of male pornographic actors on RedTube for nine straight hours,” he said. “It was brutally painful; I prefer xhamster.”

One of the videos(s) [WARNING: NSFW] in question shows no less than 7 minutes of Semmlertheriot engaging in oral and vaginal sex with a redheaded and freckled woman, identified as the famous adult actress Faye Reagan. If one compares the facial features of the male actor in this porno with those of Semmler's, they will notice a striking resemblence. In addition, if one compares the voice of both males (as heard on YouTube), there is very little doubt that it is the same individual.

Children and teenagers who enjoy StarCraft and Counter-Strike look up to Semmlertheriot as an idol and role model. “His reputation will definitely be tarnished now”, said Michael Horowitz, CTO of e-sports team Leetchan. “He should have chosen a brunette instead.”

Semmlertheriot reportedly supported Obama's 2012 re-election campaign. “We have no comment on this matter,” said a spokesperson for the campaign. Likewise, when contacted on Twitter, Faye Reagan refused to comment.

While Semmlertheriot has not made an attempt to contact us, he admitted to having a “dark past” when asked on when asked about his role in pornography.

With 21st century technology slowly becoming the center of our childrens' lives, all parents should closely monitor their kids' online activities. As this article shows, even the most unsuspecting people could be pornographers. will be back with more scoops. is the news site for tripfag and imageboard drama!

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